Taking the tawse at a finishing school? Jolly hockey sticks japes that end up with reddened rears upended in the shrubbery? You must be reading a Yolanda Celbridge book. Yolanda’s one of the most prolific erotic authors on the scene, with Punished in Pink, Slave of the Spartans and The Smarting of Selina just a tiny selection from her vast back catalogue. And yes, before you ask they do often have alliterative titles! If Penny Birch writes a kind of pimped-up, anarchic Just William, Yolanda’s speciality is more Enid Blyton with canes, all polite girls vying with each other to see who can take twenty on the bare without crying. We’ve heard a rumour that Yolanda may have hung up her pen for good (gasp!) but before she vanishes into the ether (or wherever erotic authors go when their creative juices have run dry), we asked her to share some of her thoughts on writing, reading and the judicious use of the
Tantus FeelDoe Vibrating Silicone Double Dildo. To find out more, read on…
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There are more sex story sites online than you can waggle a stick at, from writer-generated hobby sites to commercial pages using the lure of free stories to get you to sign up for costly Camel Toe and MILF sites. Honestly, the tricks some people use…

Keeping tabs on the slippery world of the web is a tough job, but the sites we’re mentioning are well established and aren’t irritating pay sites trying to jump on the free story bandwagon.
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If you like your smut on the strange side, you won’t find it much stranger than Wendy Swanscombe. Nexus has never been afraid to mix the bizarre with the erotic, but Wendy’s world pips even Aishling Morgan for out-and-out weirdness. You want tulip girls? Read The Island of Dr Sade (and spare a thought for poor old HG Wells). You want anaemic sisters trapped in the vicelike grip of a Teutonic master? Try Disciplined Skin. And if you want fresh flesh… well, see what Fresh Flesh holds in store for you.

We asked Wendy a few questions about her smut-peddling activities, and true to form she’s thrown us some intriguing and bizarre answers. We wouldn’t have it any other way…
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The third in Lisette Ashton’s hugely entertaining series of novels featuring private investigator Jo Valentine pits her against a vampire coven who seem more interested in other bodily fluids than blood.

As if that weren’t enough, Jo has problems at home, which she tries to deal with by taking her cheeky business partner Sam in hand - but has she underestimated Sam’s masochistic tendencies?
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Aishling Morgan is one of the few erotic authors worth reading for reasons beyond the obvious - Lindsay Gordon is another. We currently stock Beastly Behaviour, The Old Perversity Shop and Strip Girl, which is a mere sprinkling of titles from an author who now has 25 titles to his credit.
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Penny Birch is one of the few living erotic authors to have built up a genuine cult following, partly from the feel of real experience that comes through reading her stories but also because of her specialist areas, including watersports and pony-carting. As Penny puts it on her website, ‘All Penny Birch books focus on female submission and contain a wide variety of kinky behaviour. There’s always plenty of spanking, humiliation and anal sex. Some also focus on more specialist areas… The short story collections cover the widest range of all.’
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The Old Perversity Shop, latest in Aishling Morgan’s Truscott saga (which began with The Rake), is a marvellously entertaining romp through a foggy Victorian London populated by buxom doxies, shy innocents dreaming of a well-greased cock up the bum, hideous dwarfs and - well, a baboon.

If that all sounds a bit grotesque, that’s because Morgan’s work always works that way, whether exploring anything from the half-human, half-animal world of Tiger Tiger (you don’t see the line ‘Pull my tail’ very often in erotic fiction) or the erotic potential of human/cephalopod mating in Deep Blue.
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Most of our Orgasm Army reviewers are so busy fiddling around with sex toys of one sort or another that we don’t often see erotic books reviewed on the site. The following review, while not particularly complimentary, is honest and helpful, and the kind of thing we’d like to see more of on the site. Let us know what kind of book rocks your dirty mind, so we can keep feeding you the very best in erotic fiction.
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Lisette Ashton is one of the most popular Nexus authors, with readers thrilling to the adventures of private investigator Jo Valentine in early titles The Black Room, The Black Masque and The Black Widow, and enjoying more exotic locations in novels like Fairground Attractions, Amazon Slave, Forbidden Reading and Hot Pursuit. Lisette got her first break writing for Forum magazine, and is one of the few British erotic authors to make a living from her highly charged erotic fiction, dirty enough to satisfy the most jaded mind, exciting enough to ensure that once you’ve read the first page you have to know how the book ends, and convincing enough to let you both care about the characters and believe in every step of their filthy adventures.

Lisette’s kindly agreed to an interview with LoveHoney, full of tips for aspiring authors and reasons for you to read her books. If you’d like to know more, buy one of Lisette’s books or check out her website here.
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According to a recent survey of 5000 women by play.com, books maketh the man. Or, at least, when asked which book would encourage them to chat up a reader on the tube, the polled women were most likely to be impressed by Romeo and Juliet, suggesting a romantic lover, and Benjamin Graham’s The Intelligent Investor, which indicates that the reader has lots of money (no surprises there, then).
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